Check out this post for numbers 1-5.

6. Observe the shit that happens around you

When I start thinking about my next People Are Dumb post, I am often drawn to situations that could be greatly improved by people paying attention to their surroundings. When you enter a room/mode of transportation/shopping mall, take a minute to look around you and see what is up. Advanced smart people can do this while still walking and heading to their destination, but if you can’t (and thank you for bravely admitting that) step over to one side (do not stop in any doorway, ever) and take a good look around. If you are with a friend and your friend questions why you are behaving strangely, just answer them with “I am working on becoming less dumb, please shut up so I can do this properly”.  So, you are off to the side, great start. Now, observe. Here is a quick checklist to use.

1. Where am I?
2. Who else is here?
3. What are other people doing here?
4. Who is dumb in this situation?

Now, checklist items 1-3 are fairly straightforward. These are things that will help you figure out the basics of your situation. So many a dumb person could be saved if they took a millisecond to think about any one of these three items. Number 4 is, again, for our more advanced users, but if you have come this far with me, I think you are ready for it. By observing what other people are doing that is dumb, you can really get a good idea about the types of things you should avoid, so that you don’t show up in one of our next posts.

7. Speak more quietly than you currently do

This one may seem a little bit odd, but stay with me, dear stranger. Here’s the thing. I am never interested in the thing that is going on in your life. Neither is anyone else who doesn’t already know you. We just aren’t. Don’t take it personally—we have our own stuff to think about, and so do you. By lowering your voice by just a small amount (think of it as a “library voice”), I won’t have to hear about your dumb life. And then I won’t feel the need to comment on it in this blog, and won’t you feel better about yourself if you are reading this and I haven’t called you out for something that is dumb? Of course you will.

8. Think about things before they happen

A little bit of planning can go a long way to making sure you don’t do something that is dumb. Before you leave the house, think about the things you are going to do and bring the required materials with you. In the internet age, there is no excuse for showing up to the passport office with nothing but your person and a gogurt. We have access to an astonishing amount of information, and I ask that you take a bit of time to review some of that information before showing up in public places and doing dumb things.

9. Read

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am no fan of this particular activity. And—full disclosure—I once cheated at the “Book It” competition in school to get free pizza without having to read (an offense that unfortunately implicated my well-meaning mother). So I get it, ya’ll. Reading sucks. It is boring. I am with you. There is still no excuse for not doing at least a little bit of it, every day. Whether it is the daily news, which will help keep you informed about goings on, an instruction manual for programming clocks (both things that J brought up in her previous post), or, most simply, the signs that exist everywhere we ever are that point us in the right direction. There is no reason that anyone in an airport, on a university campus, or in a mall ever needs to ask anyone else in those locations where something is. To quote Salma Hayak in Fools Rush In (oh yes, I went there): “there are signs everywhere!” Look at them. They have all the information you need to figure out where to go. If at first you don’t see the sign you need? Keep looking. I promise you, it is there. And if it isn’t, you will probably stumble upon your destination while looking for the sign without having to bother someone. Win!

10. Follow us on Twitter @peopleare_dumb

 This is totally a cop-out, and I stole this one from #5. But please, do it. There you will get regular updates on our blog and also tasty little nuggets on the people that are dumb that we encounter throughout each and every week.