The U-scan was designed to make shopping quicker and easier.  It’s probably a lot cheaper for stores as well.  One cashier can oversee several machines at once.  Why pay someone to scan people’s purchases when you can get them to do it for free?  It turns out that scanning items for purchase is more difficult than it seems.

I don’t know what you were thinking older lady that needs new glasses because she can’t see where a barcode on a carton of eggs is located.  Same to you man who has clearly never powered up a computer before but things he can make sense of the mass of buttons and confusing procedure that are required to work the U-scan.  And what about you, teenager who thinks they can scan the next item before they’ve properly placed the first one into the bag.  Yes, I’m talking to you too.  None of you have the ability to use the U-scan.

Why do these incapable people continue to use the U-scan?  I think there are several contributing factors:

• It gives an individual a sense of power over their lives that they can control where the bread goes in the grocery bag.
• An element of fun because you’re doing a task that has traditionally been unavailable to the average grocery shopper.
• An overestimation of one’s ability to use technology or quickly learn new technology.

I don’t mean to be mean, but if it takes you more than one swipe to get your items to scan or if you have to talk to the U-scan cashier more than one time then U-scan is not for you.  Just line up and let a professional take care of it for you.  This is a win-win situation.  People who are U-scan capable won’t have to endure your painful attempts and reattempts… and a few more fuck ups…  AHH!!  I’m going to shoot you if you don’t hurry the fuck up.  Sorry, back to the solution.  You use the standard cashier and these hardworking people get to keep their jobs.  I think about 10 percent of the population is equipped with the intelligence and common sense to successfully U-scan so if in doubt, don’t bother.  Most people that try to use the U-scan are dumb.

Humorous side story: I was once waiting to use the U-scan and there was a painful attempt going on in front of me.  I think the guy was trying to use the barcode that sometimes comes on fruit stickers to scan his fruit through.  Anyone who has used the U-scan before will know that you have to punch in the produce code and that barcode is a useless waste of space.  Anyway, the one U-scan cashier was busy attending to what I’m sure was another U-scan stupidity problem and so the guy had no one to ask about his fruit problem.  He decided to give up and go through the regular check-out line (I applaud you, sir).  I then had to get the cashier to clear out the stuff the guy had successfully scanned before I could start with my stuff.  The cashier asked me why the guy left and I said it was because he couldn’t scan his fruit.  Then he asked why not, and I replied, “well, because he’s an idiot”.  The cashier didn’t exactly agree out loud, but I could see the hint of a smile playing around the corners of his mouth and in his eyes.  I like to think we shared a moment of U-scan understanding [U-scanderstanding, if you will ~L].